Thoughts

It's a Saturday and I'm at work. Got here at 5 AM. I'm tired, but also I have so much going on in my heart.

This week my cousin and I have been trying the 'BOM in a week' challenge. I have been more successful this time around, more consistent in getting my reading done, etc.

Because of that, my heart has been full and the Spirit has been so close and so powerful. I've been overwhelmed at times by the thoughts, feelings, and impressions I've had. So powerful. So beautiful. The comfort that I've felt in the face of doubt has been amazing and far more profound than I can ever remember in my life. I've been asking certain questions for months and though I've been getting the same answers the whole time it's only now that I'm actually able to believe them.

I feel full, whole, and complete. I feel so, so very loved. I feel my God, my Father, very close to me. Right now I can't deny anything that He's been telling me. I know it's all true. And though that is frightening for me (in a good way), I know that it's all going to be what it should be.

I can see so clearly a possible future laid out before me, and it's something that I want. I pray that I can do my part to achieve it. I don't know that even then I will, but I wouldn't want to have to look back and see that I didn't through my own failure to go and do.

I feel so happy. Even if I don't get what I want, I feel the joy of the possibility of it.

I've been thinking a lot about  my Grandma of late and how very, very much I miss her. There's a big hole in the universe where she's supposed to be. And I don't think that it will ever be filled until I see her again. I miss her hands, her smile, her voice, her face, her laugh. I miss her presence in this mortal sphere. I miss her.

I still have so much to mourn from her passing, but not enough time or internal space to do so. Need to work on that one.

But, all told, life is good right now. I am content. I feel well.