The Date

Not that there's much to say about it, but here's how the date went (also I really don't want a prego sistah on the warpath after me, just sayin').

So, yeah. The date was set for Saturday afternoon. The plan: meet up at Dad's Truckstop and head up to Jackson Hole to go to the Bar J Wranglers dinner and show. I had to work at 5AM so was up early (bright and, at 4AM my friends). I hadn't been sleeping well for weeks (nothing to do with the date, my body just hates me) so I was fricking exhausted.

The original idea was that Mr Date and I would be doubling with Brother of Mr Date and accompanying girl. Well, after work as I was headed to the meeting ground (after freshening up and getting myself even cuter than normal - hard to believe but, yes, possible) I got a text that Mr Date's Bro's date had to cancel and did I still want to go? I called him up and said, 'Sure, why not' and got to the truckstop first.

I must admit, I was so nervous. I don't have a good track record with dates, especially set-ups like this. Mostly because (at least this is what I think) I sound all hot and stuff on the phone (I've been told that my phone voice is pretty gorgeous... a lot...) and then they meet me and it's not what they expected. I've had this happen several times. So, I was afraid it would happen again.

Well, Mr Date had told me he'd be there about 15 minutes after me and... he wasn't. And I got to the point where I thought he looked at me and left. But, no, he had just run into delays and finally did arrive.

First meet = not Prince Charming. A friend of mine said that when he had been set up on a blind date she ended up being smoking hot. Well, Mr Date was not. But, honestly, I don't really mind. I am a very firm believer in the fact that people can become exponentially more attractive once you get to know them if they have a great personality. So, looks = not so muchy of the important to me.

We got in his truck and Brother was there in the back seat. He was feeling rather sulky because, as he told me later, he really liked the girl that bailed on him. He was a nice kid, though. He was even kind of funny between his bouts of sulkiness.

So, we headed out. We had to stop at another of Mr Date's brother's house to drop off a boat and switch the truck for a car (better gas mileage) and started our 2 hour trip. His brother drove so we got to chit chat. And... well, he was nice. But that's about it. We had next to nothing in common and I was the one that pretty much carried any conversation we had.

We got to the Bar J Chuckwagon Ranch just on time. Mr Date had been told to be in the parking lot at 5 and we got there at 5:30. It turned out that it was an activity with the Single's Ward he goes to (even though he's almost 32...). We got our tickets and went in. By this time I was pretty stinking ravenous, hadn't eaten since noon, and was sooooo tired. And then, we found out that dinner didn't start until 7 and the show would start at 8... But, that's ok, right? Time to talk and what-not, right?

Well, not really so much of the talking. Mr Date wandered off to 'use the bathroom' and didn't come back for a good 15 minutes. In the mean time none of the ward members made any kind of attempt to talk to me or acknowledge my presence. They were all very absorbed in their stuff. I was ok with it, though. Felt rather content to sit and observe. The ward leaders and their wives, however, were so so nice and talked to me and made me feel welcome.

Mr Date eventually came back and we made some more conversation. A little bit forced, but conversation still. He also kept making comments to his ward leaders that made it seem like he and I were dating... not exactly something that I liked too much, but ok. I just kept smiling and didn't remark.

As we conversed more I realized even more that he and I really wouldn't be compatible. For example, he talked about how he went to school and thought it would be pointless to take classes in History and Literature - "What for?" he says. And when I explained to him that I took all those classes (and more) and loved them he just stared at me blankly. Sigh.

The shindig finally started and it was a blast. The food was amazing (barbecue beef and chicken - soo tender - beans, spice cake, apple sauce... yummm...). Then the show was a ton of fun. They sang old cowboy songs in amazing 4 part harmony. And they were so freaking funny!!! The jokes between the songs had me rolling. Afterward my face felt like it was stuck in a permanent smile. It was so fun.

The show ended at about 9:40 and we still had a 2 hour (minimum) drive back to my car. We got in the car and I was completely done. So ridiculously tired, and not looking forward to the 4 hours of sleep I'd get before I had to work the next day. Not fun.

On the ride home I was so done. Ready to crawl into my bed and sleep. Ready to say a well and true 'Good Night' to Mr Date. He, however, was not done. I swear he was working up the nerve to hold my hand on the way back. And my thoughts? Um, no. No thank you. We talked a little bit more and I discovered that he doesn't really like to read books at all, has a minimum kind of interest in movies, has no particular taste in music... sigh...

We got into IF and had to pick up his truck at his brother's house. It was 11:30. I was wiped out. And Brother of Mr Date's (the sulker, you remember) had decided to go gallivanting off, looking for an ice cream sandwich. My mood was getting less and less happy.

We finally got him out and installed in the back seat of the truck. And we drove to the parking lot where my car was. I was so glad!! I thanked Mr Date for the invite, told him I had fun, and hopped out of the truck. And, despite my fatigue and internal grumpiness, I had succeeded in being polite and friendly throughout the date. None of my doneness had reflected in my behavior, promise.

As I walked to my car I hit the button on my keyless entry and... nothing happened. No beep. No response. Nothing. Aw, crap. Just so excited... The light on it would blinky, but nothing happened. Now, the alarm system on my car is ridiculous. I think I've mentioned in previous posts that there is a cat in my neighborhood that likes to set it off early in the morning, it really doesn't take much. The slightest little jiggle of the handle gets it going. And the only way to stop it is with the keyless entry thingy. I was not happy. Pretty sure that the battery in it was dead.

Mr Date stopped for a bit and I walked to his truck. I was at the point that I just didn't want to see his face anymore. This was pretty much due to my complete and utter exhaustion and the realization that the number of hours of sleep I had to look forward to were dwindling rapidly. I was approaching mental and emotional meltdown.

I explained the situation and let him know I just had to call my sister (she has my backup remote thingy) and I'd be fine. He hightailed it out of there pretty quickly, but I was not complaining. I called the Goob and... no answer. I called 5 more times and nothing. I eventually had to call the house phone and get my parents to wake her up (which thing is not very happy-making to me because Mom always makes a big stinking deal out of everything and drives me crazy and I was already in a bad mood... you get the picture).

Finally I got Goob on the line and told her to come and bring the keys. I had had the thought earlier to try using my key in the door, but I really didn't want to set off the alarm and not be able to shut it down. Not my idea of fun at midnight in a truckstop parking lot, ya know.

The Goob got there (finally!!) and we tried her remote thingy. Didn't work. Me = not at all happy and only getting worse. I finally acted on the thought to use my key (lots of 'finallys' aren't there) and discovered that it wasn't the battery in my remote thingy that was dead, it was the battery in my car (can we say promptings from Heavenly Father that I refused to listen to? I think so...). I had accidentally left my lights on. This is something that I never do, but I was so nervous before Mr Date had shown up that I had forgotten to turn them off when he actually did. Sigh.

This problem (thankfully) was very easily remedied. I have jumper cables and know how to use them. I got our cars connected and got it taken care of, jumped in my car and took myself home. I then got to bed just before 1AM.

Mr Date ended up calling me Sunday evening to invite me to a baseball game the next day. I replied that I wouldn't be able to make it, thanked him for the invitation, and let him know I was 'glad to have made a new friend'. I hope that that response was kind enough and that he understood that I'm not romantically interested in him. I don't want to be mean or make him feel bad about himself, but he and I would not work. Not for me, anyway.

So, there you go. Voila, the story. It was definitely not a train wreck by any stretch of the imagination. It was just about what I expected it to be. And Mr Date really was a very nice guy. I have nothing against him personally. I know he did his best to show me a good time.

When I was telling the people at work on Sunday about the reason I'd only gotten 3 hours of sleep, one of the ladies said, "What if he's in love with you?" and my response was a funny face and "I hope not". Honestly, I don't believe that he would actually, really be in love with me. The very most I think might have happened is that he saw someone (me) that was not only single but also close to his age and seemed like a viable option. That's what I feel like I am anymore (to most people at least) - a viable, potentially logical, option.

For example, a few days after my birthday I had a friend of mine call me up. We had been really close for several months the year before, but then he had disappeared just before my birthday. I'd heard from him a couple of times in the interim, but that was about it. Well, after a bit of chit chat, he told me that he had realized he didn't want to be alone anymore, that I'm 'everything he wants', and basically proposed marriage. I will admit that before he disappeared I cared for him very deeply. If he had asked the year before, I probably would have said yes. But I had realized the hard way that he was not someone that I could really depend on, and that's something that I know I absolutely need in a spouse.

After I had hemmed and hawed a bit he amended it to asking me out on a date.  And then, when I had plans on the day he planned for us to go out he said he'd call me. And I haven't heard from him since. Sigh.

Now, I will say that I was fully willing to give it a chance. He is a very good man and we have a whole lot in common. He is someone that I know I could potentially be happy with. And at first I was really hurt by it. I felt like there was something wrong with me. But then I realized that it was not on me.

I felt bad thinking that he might have gotten the idea that I didn't care for him, because I do. But if we were to get hitched I would need to know that he loved me. He would have to work a little bit for it. He'd have to actually be there and show that he cared. And his not calling, or texting, or writing, or messaging just showed me that he was more interested in not being alone than in being in a relationship with me. And we both deserve better than that. I think I'm just someone that made sense. I was a logical choice. A viable option. But not someone that he really wanted.

Although I am at an age where (in the Mormon culture anyway) women are usually pretty ready to settle for 'good enough', I am not someone that is capable of settling. That's not to say that I will only be with a man that is rich, handsome, witty and charming, and capable of sweeping me off my feet (although that would be nice...). I just want someone that is kind and good. Someone strong enough to be there for me, and that actually wants to be there for me. Someone that would do everything he could to love me and take care of me. A good man. Someone that I could connect with. And he just hasn't shown up in my life. Not yet, anyway. Someday, I hope. :)

Ok. This is a lot longer than I thought it would be. (Hope you're happy, Lister... :) ). Thanks for reading, and thanks for commenting. It means so much to me to hear that the people I love so much care about me too. Until next time!