Vindicated

I love this song, and it's really been resonating in my life of late. Most people I talk to associate it with Spiderman, but I never have. I heard it before I ever saw the movie. The reason I love it is because the lyrics are interesting and really make you think - my kind of thing being the word nerd that I am. The message, for me anyway, is more about life in general and how we're all just trying to do and be better.

Today was a good day for me. I decided this morning that I needed to play hooky from work. I tried to talk myself out of it, but my heart just wouldn't let me. No matter what I told myself, it just didn't work. I needed to take a 'me' day.

Part of it was because I had a thing or two that I needed to get done - pay on my car loan, get the oil changed in my car, buy a new pair of pants... The other part was that I didn't get much sleep last night. I kept waking up and couldn't fall back to sleep and just didn't feel rested when I got up. So I called in sick.

I started my day by taking the Goob to work. She hadn't been able to sleep last night either and had taken herself into town at 2:30 AM to deposit some money in her over-drawn bank account (via the ATM, of course). Well, on the way back she lost the serpentine belt on her van and it kept overheating. Between that and the icy roads, she had quite the time getting home. In the end she got most of the way home but couldn't quite make it, so Dad had to tow her up to the house.

After that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I was feeling too restless to go back to sleep, so I picked up the book I've been reading. It's from the Sword of Truth series that a friend of mine started me on. I'm on book four, and I'm still hooked. It's one suspenseful event after another, with deep philosophical conversations interspersed. I could only read that for so long before I had to put it down. My heart can only take so much!

I then decided to watch a movie. I was browsing my Netflix streaming queue on my PS3, trying to decide what I wanted to watch. It was not easy. I ended up choosing The Last Song - a movie based on the Nicholas Sparks book with Miley Sirus in it. Those two things made me feel pretty certain that I wouldn't like it. Don't get me wrong, Nicholas Sparks has some pretty good stuff. Cheesy, but ok. I'm just not usually in the mood for it. Well, I was pleasantly surprised in this instance. And it wasn't the love story that caught my attention, but the relationship that the father had with his children. I cried when they found out he was sick and when he died. (Sorry if I'm spoiling it for someone... it is Nicholas Sparks, though, what do you expect?) I kept thinking that I wished I had a father like that. And that if I ever do get married, I'd want my husband to be a father like that.

Once I finished the movie I got dressed, put myself together, and went to run my errands. I was thinking also that I might stop by the house of a friend of mine to see if they wanted to catch a movie. This being their day off I felt like I might be intruding to do so, so I was feeling rather hesitant. I was driving in my car down Yellowstone Highway, trying to decide whether to get the oil changed first or go shopping when I had the distinct impression to go to my friend's house first.

So I did. And it was a good thing, too. When I got there my friend's roommate opened the door and informed me that said friend was sleeping. Normally I would leave it at that and just have roommie tell them I'd stopped by. But something told me I needed to keep going. I went in and knocked on their bedroom door a few times. The look of surprise on Friend's face was priceless. They had thought it was roommie coming to bug them. I invited Friend to the movie and went to run my errands while they got ready.

The oil change was quick and rather painless - except that I hadn't brought enough oil for my car (my Dad makes me bring my own oil, he's a bit of a motor oil snob...) so I had to go to WalMart to get another quart of it (oil change guys didn't want to mix the oils and they didn't have my kind there). I then went to Ross to look for new pants. Normally I've been very successful in such an endeavor at Ross, but today I wasn't so lucky. They only had jeans with fleurs de lis on the butt pockets or old lady britches... Not so worky for me... I did, however, end up getting a pair of leggings, a shirt that wasn't black or gray (I'm trying to incorporate more color into my wardrobe), a pretty black sweater, and a cute new dress. I was disappointed not to find what I was looking for, but content with what I found.

I then went back to Friend's house and we went to the Paramount to watch Megamind. I know, you're shocked, I hadn't seen it before! Please don't hate me. I've seen it now, and I loved it. Friend and I both thought it was hilarious. We walked out of the theatre quoting lines and laughing to ourselves. Good times. We then went to Target so I could buy some socks that I had seen there earlier (thanks Shelle!). One of the pairs was even argyle - joy!

We then headed back to Friend's house. Friend walked me to my car, us chatting the whole way, and we hugged goodbye - then proceeded to chit chat with me sitting in the car and Friend holding the door open. Finally I told Friend to get in the car and talk to me, and we continued to carry on a really good conversation. Friend has been having roommate difficulties and feeling really frustrated about their situation (hence the identity-protecting measures - I know you were wondering...). It was really good to talk and commiserate about life and even share testimonies about gospel truths. Luckily the Goob got a ride home from work from Dad (who had kindly gotten her a new belt for her car and put it on, getting her up and running again), so I didn't need to worry about cutting the talk short. I think we both needed it.

Well, time was short and Friend needed to go so we once again hugged goodbye - this time for reals - and I drove off into the sunset. Except that you couldn't see the sunset through all of the big fat SNOWFLAKES that were falling. I was feeling pretty disgruntled, let me just tell you. I'm so ready for Spring!!! Want it! Like, yesterday! But then I let myself pause, and let the Spirit that had been permeating the atmosphere of my car sink deeper into my heart, and I noticed something. The snow was beautiful. Granted, I didn't like that it was getting on the road and that it will likely make my drive to work tomorrow rather unpleasant, but it really was beautiful. Big, fat, lazy flakes drifting gently to the ground. Surprisingly, there wasn't a wind pushing them to change direction. Just frozen crystallized raindrops and the air. Lovely.

It reminded me of a time at BYU when I was sitting in the JFSB (the Humanities building on campus) and it started to snow. If you were to look at the building from above it would resemble a hollow square and the windows I was sitting next to were facing the central courtyard. Well, on this particular day the snowflakes were big, fat, lazy ones as well. The most entrancing thing, though, was that because of the shape of the building and the courtyard there was an updraft that was causing those snowflakes to shoot up in the air - much like packing peanuts being blown into the air by a leaf blower. It was amazing. I wish that I could replay it for you so that you could see how beautiful and mesmerizing it was. It made me think about how much God loves us to put something so beautiful and amazing in the world for us to see if we just open our eyes and look. I had the same feeling today.

That's pretty much it so far. I got home and talked to Goob for a bit before she had to leave for her performance tonight. She's in the Pirates of Penzance at the local community theatre. I texted Shelle for a bit and then decided to post. I might add, also, that I typed most of this with Ipiki snuggled under my arm, sleeping on my wrist. I know, I'm talented.

Just a final word to kind of tie things together. Life can be so beautiful if you let it be. If you look for the special things that God has put on this earth just for you - because he really has done that - life can be a wonderful place to exist. It's hard to see it sometimes, especially when you feel weighed down by stress and trials. But it's always there for those times you when you can open your eyes to see it, open your heart to feel it, and really let yourself take it in. I'm glad that I got to have today to do that. To let the light shine (even when it was snowing) and feel the beauty and peace all around me. God is so good to me. I am so blessed, even if I don't always let myself realize it. I already have so much to be grateful for, and I've still got plenty ahead of me. And so I say, to the good and the bad, bring it on.